THE HILLS HAVE EYES 2

FOX

RELEASED 30 March 2007

2006’s ‘Hills’ remake was a slick, scary, relentless modern horror flick that lacked originality but made up for it with buckets of blood. For this sequel, instead of a family in peril, we follow a trainee unit of National Guard soldiers who have been assigned to investigate an isolated research camp mysteriously deserted. Little do they know that these are the very hills that are alive with the sound of screaming.

I don’t think I can remember seeing a film before where a bunch of idiots look up in the air for 90 minutes, waiting to be killed because they’re so damned stupid. ‘The Hills Have Eyes 2’ isn’t scary, it only has a few good moments of gore (of which the opening ‘mutant birth’ scene is probably the best), the script (written by Wes Craven and his son Jonathan Craven - the alarm bells went off at that credit) tries to be rough and ready but is one lazy cliche after another, the mutant make-up looks like last night’s left-over pizza, ALL of the actors cannot act, and just as the tension should be building towards the end, it’s back to Eighties time as a ‘good’ mutant (played by ‘The Goonies’ Sloth) destroys any credibilty left with a turn totally at odds with the film’s theme. Mercifully, the film only runs for 90 minutes. I said a prayer for small mercies.

‘Hills 2’ should’ve been a straight-to-DVD effort as it certainly doesn’t belong on the big screen.

TWO OUT OF FIVE