I Am Number Four
I AM NUMBER FOUR
DISNEY
RELEASED 23 February 2011
It might not be wearing tights or have a flowing cape, but ‘I Am Number Four’ wants to be a superhero franchise in every other respect. Bearing obvious similarities to ‘Superman’, Number Four (Alex Pettyfer) has been on Earth since fleeing his home planet as a child. Eight other ‘numbered’ children escaped the genocide inflicted by the evil Mogadorians, but now a group of ‘Mogs’ have traced the super-powered escapees to Earth and are murdering them in numerical order. The film opens with Number Three meeting a gruesome fate in Africa. The only protection Number Four has is his lifelong guardian Henri (Timothy Olyphant), who has a glowing knife capable of killing ‘Mogs’ and a mysterious silver box. Henri has kept Number Four on the run for his whole life to avoid being found, but Number Four is tired of running and wants to face the enemy, especially as his ‘legacy’ powers are now developing.
Production started on ‘I Am Number Four’ last year before the book it’s based on had even been published. Director DJ Caruso has a one hundred percent record at the box office so far (‘Disturbia’, ‘Eagle Eye’) and this teen-friendly movie wants to be the first of a series. Sadly, it’s the weakest script Caruso has worked with, and although he’s a competent director, there’s little in the film to grab your eye. In fact, for a film about aliens on planet Earth, it’s all a bit safe and unremarkable. Number Four’s superpowers (sorry, ‘legacies’) basically comprise incredible strength and glowing hands that make lamposts explode… We get to meet Number Six later in the film (Australian actress Teresa Palmer) who’s main legacy is teleporting (a la Nightcrawler from X-Men 2). The ‘Mogs’ all sport tribal tattoos on their bald heads, bare pointy teeth, possess small gills on their cheeks (which isn’t explained) and are seven foot five inches tall. Oh, and they all wear long black trenchcoats like it’s 1999 (when ‘The Matrix’ was released – come on, keep up at the back).
The weaponary and alien symbology look like a child designed them, and a couple of monsters brought to Earth from the alien homeworld have zero personality. Have you ever wanted to watch two snarling blobs rolling each other through walls into a shower room??Here you go then.
Aside from the uninspired production design, ‘I Am Number Four’ features a woeful script that for three quarters of the film is forgettable, and for the last part of the film is memorable for all the wrong reasons. Sam (Callan McAuliffe), Number Four’s new friend at school, is a dedicated UFologist, and he gets to deliver the clunker ‘my entire childhood has been an episode of the X-Files’. Thankfully, with cheesy dialogue in full flow, I was delighted that someone broached the ‘number one’ or ‘number two’ giggle-inducer by asking ‘are you number two?’. If only the reply had been ‘yes, I am shit’…
No-one in the cast gives a bad performance, but Olyphant, normally an engaging and masculine screen presence, gets far too little to do, while Pettyfer carries off a convincing American accent but doesn’t leave much impression otherwise. Both female leads have very little to do.
Twelve-year-old boys may well lap this stuff up, but I’m afraid anybody else is going to have seen this all done before only with more wit, verve, and imagination. I doubt the box office takings will be enough to start a franchise. At least, I sure hope the ‘numbers’ don’t add up.
TWO OUT OF FIVE
