I’d love to tell you about…

Yesterday, I saw an exclusive twenty minutes of a big movie set to be released in 2012. Sadly, I’ve signed an embargo (a necessary condition of entry) which only allows me to discuss what I’ve seen in the week of release, by which time I will probably have seen and be reviewing the whole completed film. This embargo seems a bit odd, as I was under the impression the event was to promote the film early, get some ‘buzz’, some free publicity.

So is it possible for me to talk about the film if I don’t mention what it’s called? Well I suppose so, but if I was to state something like ‘Tom Hardy’s ‘Bane’ is a far more formidable foe for Batman than Heath Ledger’s ‘Joker’ ever was’*, you’d know it was

unless you’ve been in a (bat)cave for the last twelve months.

*Important point: I didn’t see twenty minutes of ‘The Dark Knight Rises’.

If I was to say the twenty minutes I saw looks likely to propel Andrew Garfield into the Hollywood stratosphere*, you’d easily deduce it was for

unless you’re still under the impression Tobey Maguire will be joined by John Malkovich and Anne Hathaway in ‘Spider-Man 4′ (an odd quirk of fate that Hathaway leapt from the doomed ’4′ role of the Black Cat to Catwoman in ‘The Dark Knight Rises’).

*Important point: I didn’t see twenty minutes of ‘The Amazing Spider-Man’.

If I was to say something pretty vague like ‘the all-Scottish cast really bring this animated adventure to life’*, it wouldn’t take you long to think of this

*Important point: I didn’t see twenty minutes of ‘Brave’.

So here are the three vaguest clues I can give you

from which you’re highly unlikely to guess the title of this very funny-looking (extra clue: it’s funny) from a veritable British institution (ooops, another clue).

Wasn’t that a useful post!